My Valentine's Celebration?

So actually I spent Valentine's Day dealing with people at Build A Bear. Just an FYI, if you come into the store on the day of the holiday you probably will not get the holiday things you are looking for.

The night before, my friends Shauna, Melissa, and I went to this workshop. Yes, the title is "How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk." The first hour was spent honoring the best marriages in Utah. There were Gold Medal Marriages (one that is healthy and enduring, for better or worse, through thick and thin, through time and experiences), Valour Military Marriages (many married couples have found themselves separated by the duties associated with a nation at war. Yet, despite thousands of miles of separation, a military marriage can thrive and be strengthened), and the Longest Married couples (no explanation needed).

To start it all off, they read Governor Huntsman's declaration that 7 - 14 February is Marriage Week. It reads:
"Jon Meade Huntsman, Jr.
"Governor
"Declaration

"Whereas, marriage is an essential aspect of human society that creates new families by binding men and women together in a network of affection, mutual aid, and obligation, committing mothers and father to their children and connecting children to a wider network of welcoming kin;

"Whereas, a healthy, loving marriage is worthy of respect as it provides a means for personal happiness by fostering a safe haven for children to flourish and enjoy the full emotional, educational, and financial benefits of both parents;

"Whereas, the breakdown of marriage is trying on the emotional, physical, and financial well-being of families and communities, as well as increases taxpayer expenses for public human service programs;

Whereas, research indicates that men and women who marry and remain married in mutually supportive relationship generally live longer, experience better health, and enjoy more satisfying lives;

"Whereas, Utahns are committed to promoting enrichment opportunities and resources that strengthen marital relationships and enhance personal growth, mutual fulfillment, and family well-being; and,

"Whereas, we wish to applaud and encourage efforts by Utah citizens, faith-based communities, businesses, organizations, local government, and community leaders to strengthen marriages in a variety of ways, including marriage education programs, conferences, enrichment seminars, and public polices that support marriages;

"New, Therefore, I, Jon M. Hunstman, Jr., Governor of the State of Utah, do hereby declare February 7 - 14, 2009, as

"Marriage Week"

The seminar part of things that I was really interested in was delivered by Dr. John Van Epp. I loved it! I could have listened to him for a while. When I first found out about this seminar I was worried about religion, beliefs, values and how it would all work together. I was relieved to find it didn't follow any specific anything as far as that goes, but it could fit with all of it. He started off by asking anyone if they had ever been in a relationship with a jerk. I wanted to stand up and cheer when a woman stood up and said she left her abusive husband after DCFS got involved in her life (yes, I know that may sound a little bit wrong, but I don't see many people who are willing to choose their children over a relationship). I think the winner of the evening was a girl who announced to the room that she had been married last March and last July he robbed a bank and went on the run.

Basically the gist of it was to try to make sure in a relationship your levels in the Relationship Attachment Model Five Bonds of Love are as equal and level as can be. Those bonds are know, trust, rely, commit, and touch. The safe zone rule is "Don't let the level of one exceed the previous." You shouldn't invest yourself beyond what they've shown. When you are out of balance you mask problems that never get resolved. When you are dating someone, get to know the F.A.C.E.S. That would be family background, attitude/actions of consequences, compatibility potential, examples of relationship patterns, and skills for relationships. I must admit I kind of felt like a huge nerd when he mentioned that in his book (which I am going to investing in) there is a questionnaire with about 99 questions that he would recommend going over with the one you are interested in. He did not recommend taking the questions and quizzing them, and yet, if I were in a serious relationship that I thought was moving forward, I would like go question by question and talk about it. Yes, I am a dork.

It was an interesting workshop and I did enjoy myself. I look forward to reading the book.